


iv. red stains

by icymapletree



Series: febuwhump/febufluff 2020 [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Alcoholic Tony Stark, Febuwhump, Gen, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Parent Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Vomiting, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:28:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22558666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icymapletree/pseuds/icymapletree
Summary: “I don’t need to go to bed,” Tony slurs, “I need to see Peter.”“Peter’s away, you need to go to bed.”“If I go to bed, will Peter be there when I wake up?”It hurts every part of Rhodey to say this, but he looks Tony in the eye, nodding. “Peter wants you to go to bed, Tony.”
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: febuwhump/febufluff 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1618837
Comments: 21
Kudos: 288





	iv. red stains

When the pain is too bad, Tony gets an itch under his skin and he figures that alcohol can’t make his problems any worse.

He was doing _so good_ , but then he realized that the earth has revolved once around the sun since Titan. Everywhere he turned, Peter was there. The tightness in his chest no longer loosens when he’s around Rhodey or Pepper.

He needs to ease it, and he only knows one way. Liquor and the lab, just like it was after his parents’ murders. 

It starts with a glass of wine - because how bad could wine be? The wine makes it hurt less, it makes him warm from the inside out. It makes him more productive, going through blueprints like they’re kindergarten homework assignments.

The buzz grows, and it’s kind of pleasant, the way the sound around him diminishes. The world is wrapped in a homemade sweater, everything slower and sweeter.

He had rationalized the decision to drink several days before he made it. He came to the conclusion that he _deserves_ a drink. He didn’t consider that this glass of wine will lead to another and another and another.

It’s like he’s opened the floodgates. It was just one drink, he remembers, but at some point one became four then five then six. He doesn’t remember spilling some of the liquid down his front, but the red has already bled into the white cloth. 

He loses count of what version of the spider suit he is on at around the seventh.

“ _Boss, Pepper Potts is inquiring about your whereabouts._ ”

“Tell her I’m alright, FRI, I’m alright… I’m fine.”

His fingers are numb from keeping a tight hold on his tools. His grip gets weaker, and that only makes him more frustrated.

“FRIDAY… where did I, where did I put… have you seen my Phillips-head screwdriver?”

“ _Last I saw, it was in the drawer on the left, boss._ ”

“Thanks, FRI. Good girl. You’re just the best, FRI.”

But in that drawer, there isn’t a screwdriver. It’s a framed picture of him and Peter, holding up bunny ears and an upside down Stark Internship certificate. The kid gave the frame to him for Father’s Day last year, right before the Thanos fiasco.

“Shit,” Tony breathes, stumbling toward and collapsing on the couch in the back of the lab, the one that Peter had picked up off the side of the road. If he could just close his eyes, take a nap, maybe he’d wake up and Peter would be alive again.

But seeing the picture of Peter makes him realize the mistake he’s made, getting drunk like this. He mumbles up at the ceiling, “Call Rhodey.”

As FRIDAY dials the phone, he adjusts himself so he can stare up at the ceiling. There are footprints up there that he never got around to cleaning, the ones that Peter always used to promise he would take care of.

It was almost like if Tony did clean them, Peter would never be able to come back and do it himself.

“ _Tony, what’s wrong? Are you okay?_ ” 

The man in question groans and rubs his eyes. “I fucked up, Rhodey.”

“ _I’m on my way._ ”

It’s either an hour or a minute before Rhodey punches the password into the lab’s keypad.

He meets Tony at the couch, and his eyes are filled with more pity than Tony has ever seen. “Jesus, Tones, let’s get you a glass of water then get you to bed.”

“I don’t need to go to bed,” he slurs, “I need to see Peter.”

“Peter’s away, you need to go to bed.”

“If I go to bed, will Peter be there when I wake up?”

It hurts every part of Rhodey to say this, but he looks Tony in the eye, nodding. “Peter wants you to go to bed, Tony.”

“Okay,” he nods at Rhodey, drawing out his words, “It’s bedtime.”

Rhodey supports him under his armpits, helping him up the stairs. 

“Where… where’s Pepper?” he asks with a dazed look in his eyes, when they are halfway to his room. 

“She’s in Europe, Tones. Remember? She tried to get out of it, but she couldn’t, remember?”

“Why would she leave with the baby?”

Rhodey nearly drops him. “Because the baby’s inside of her, Tony.”

“Oh. Right,” he nods.

“I can’t wait for Peter to meet the baby.”

“Yeah, yeah. But he can’t meet the baby unless you go to sleep.”

He nods again, but it’s more of a wobble, kind of like the bobbleheads on the dashboard of a car. Tony looks up at his friend, and his face drops slowly. “I think I’m gonna be--”

He’s cut off by the splat of his own sick on the floor of the lab. Shocked by this new development, Rhodey stills. “How much did you have to drink, Tony?”

Tony eyes dart back and forth as he thinks. He holds up a hand and one finger.

“Six?” Rhodey clarifies.

“Six glasses of red wine… I think I switched to,” he looks up at the ceiling, “I switched to I think, uh, bourbon… an hour ago.”

Rhodey sighs, and continues to help Tony up the stairs. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d have to clean up Tony’s puke while Tony slept off a long night of drinking.

After what seemed like forever, they were outside of Tony and Pepper’s room. 

“I’m, I’m gonna sleep here.”

“No, you’re not, Tony. _Tony._ ”

The man does eventually make it to his bed. “Arms up,” Rhodey says, helping slip Tony’s win-stained shirt over his head and replacing it with a sleep shirt. He also helps Tony shimmy out of his jeans.

But when it comes to putting on his pajama pants, Tony flippantly waves a hand. “I got it, I got it, honeybear.”

Rhodey raids the pantry for some crackers and fills a glass with lukewarm water, as well as getting some aspirin from the medicine cabinet. 

“Wow, you’re the best, platypus,” he says when he’s handed the remedies.

“You better remember that when you wake up,” Rhodey mumbles as he pulls over a chair to Tony’s bedside. He stays there for most of the night, only leaving to clean up the vomit in the lab, but he returns right after.

**x**

When Tony wakes up, Rhodey, with bags under his eyes, is still sitting in the chair. 

“Wow, you’re like my mom or something,” he groans, voice heavy with sleep.

“Tony.”

“Or, it’s a recreation of our college days. I haven’t decided yet.”

“Tony--”

“But you’re not like my dad. My dad would _never_ \--”

“ _Tony_.”

“...Yes?”

Rhodey holds his head in his hands. “I was helping with some recovery efforts in Germany, and I get a call from you saying you’ve made a mistake… because of what day it was, I’d thought you were trying to kill yourself, man. And it turns out you were.”

“I wasn’t trying to--”

“No, no, I’m talking... I asked FRIDAY, and she said your BAC was .33 percent. If you hadn’t been used to that amount of alcohol, Tony, you could’ve died. If you hadn’t had the common sense to call me… you could’ve _died_ \--”

“But I didn’t.”

“No, you didn’t.” He sighs. “But I was so worried, and with a _daughter_ on the way, I thought you might be more careful. I know she wasn’t planned, but neither was Peter, and you were an excellent parent to him. You’ve got to stop this. I’ll help you, I promise.”

They’re silent for an uncomfortable moment, Tony twiddling his thumbs. “I just, I really miss him.”

“I know you do, man. I miss him too. The way he would light up a room,” Rhodey seems to get lost in thought for a second. “I miss it. I’m stuck with all these old geezers on the Avengers now.”

Tony cracks a small smile. “I’ve got to be better,” he reminds himself. 

“I’m not gonna tell you otherwise… you really do. But I love you, man. You can do this.”

“I love you too… I’m just worried I’m gonna be like Howard.”

“You’re not him, Tony. You’ll never be him. I’ve known you since you were fifteen years old, with those big clunky glasses and braces… and that curly hair you never bothered to tame back then… and you’ve _never_ been like him. The fact that you’re worried about it at all says a lot.”

“I know but--”

“But what? Were you worried about this with Peter?”

“Everyday. I was so worried I was gonna mess up.”

“You were a natural with him. When you did mess up, you fixed it. And that’s what makes you different than Howard. I’m not gonna make excuses and tell you that what you did last night was okay, but…”

“I’ve gotta do it for her,” Tony finishes.

“For her,” Rhodey agrees.

“And for him.”

**x**

The day Morgan Parker Stark is born is bittersweet. She is a wrinkly little infant, her cries more like wails. The hospital staff calls it a raptor cry, her screeches piercing through every silent moment. 

But every second, Tony’s thinking about Peter. He hates that he is, and when the doctor congratulates them on their firstborn, he wants to tell him all about Peter. Pepper can tell, she sees it in his eyes.

Rhodey is the third person to hold her, behind Pepper and Tony, of course. Rhodey’s proud of Tony, they can see it in his smile.

He’d worked so hard to be _better_ , for Pepper, for Morgan, for _Peter_ \-- wherever he was. 

His lips hadn’t seen a drop of alcohol since that night in the lab.

There might be a relapse. But, Tony would never let Morgan see him in that moment, lest there be one.

He is gonna be so much better than Howard. 

And when he goes home and sees the picture of him and Peter on the shelf, he knows he already is.

**Author's Note:**

> i was so nervous to post this because it hits pretty close to home. but i'm really proud of it, and i hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> i promise peter and tony will both be alive in the next one. (;
> 
> come talk to me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/icymapletree)


End file.
